Jocelyn Geller // TO BE HAPPY

The pursuit of happiness.

What does that even mean?

That my whole life is a journey?

That one day I will reach the peak of the mountain

and scream at the top of my lungs

I am happy!

 

And then what?

I never go back?

Suddenly, I am freed from sadness

and anger

and frustration

and cruelty

and abuse

and stress

and sadness.

 

I don’t think so.

I struggle with the idea

that one day it all will just

 

disappear.

 

There must be a way that I can be happy now.

Is this a trick? I don’t recall being given directions on how to play this game called life.

But I think

rather than climbing a mountain,

I can simply walk two steps to my fridge,

pour a cup of apple juice

sit down at my counter and breathe.

I am happy.

 

Or I can lace up my cleats on a sunny Sunday afternoon,

look around me at the empty field

and exhale.

I am happy.

 

Or maybe I can snuggle up in bed with that special someone,

turn on a movie,

and fall asleep to the sound of someone else’s beating heart.

I am happy.

 

No, I don’t think it’s the pursuit of happiness.

I think no matter where I am

Where I go

What I do

What I encounter

What I leave behind

It is there.

 

Sometimes it’s gonna take a little digging

But if I have anything

It’s the time to do a little digging.

 

No, I don’t think it’s the pursuit of happiness.

It is the happiness in the pursuit.

 

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